Aging with relatives (a Thanksgiving special)

Strength as we get older includes our ability to understand the origin of beliefs and opinions that contradict our own.

How’s it going over there?

Have you managed to get through the day without responding to Uncle Joe’s “whatabout!” rant on Obamacare or Cousin Amy’s lamentation on the depravity of Trump?

It’s Thanksgiving in America — despite the corporate attempt to jump straight from Halloween to Christmas. Thanks-giving. At a time in our history when even the late-night TV comedians are imploring us to lay down our political arms and un-cancel the members of our families whose political views we find abhorrent.

When the comedians who earn their livings pillorying one of most corrupt presidential administrations in American history are asking Americans to tone it down and be nicer to one another this holiday season, you know it’s bad.

I have personal experience with the Thanksgiving dinner that turns political. During my time as a New York Times reporter, my uncle took the occasion to redirect his hostility toward The Times editorial board at me. I remember saying at one point, “I’m not The New York Times!”

So, whether you’re one or three glasses into “the holidays,” here’s a reminder that part of the strength element of the aging process is having the confidence, self-possession and, yes, tolerance of people in your family who don’t see the world the same way you do. Because all those judgy opinions you really, really enjoy having about them? They’re enjoying having their own about you.

That doesn’t require capitulation — not a winning strategy. But respectful disagreement, and, when necessary, the choice to say nothing instead of something.

Happy Thanksgiving. Stay strong and, by all means, keep going.

— Paul